One of my Facebook friends recently posted a status that said, "A man will love a woman UNCONDITIONALLY, but first she's gotta look and act a certain way."
First of all, be aware that this particular friend is known to post statuses that are intended to provoke thought and trigger conversation - controversial and otherwise; the posts are not necessarily his beliefs at all. But sometimes, they are.
I responded to the post, saying that the statement was contradictory and that I did not agree, but it was not the post that caught my attention as much as a comment my friend made later on in response to the thread of comments. He said, "I think UNCONDITIONALLY is a word women use that don't want to improve themselves." Again, keep in mind, this response might or might not be this man's personal opinion, but a further attempt to provoke continual conversation.
Now ... what do I think about this statement, "Unconditional is a word women use that don't want to improve themselves."?
I think there might be some truth to this. Women are known to be, not only the most complex and confusing of creatures, they are also, often, the most unreasonable and even demanding, when it comes to just about everything. I should know - I am a woman - haha. We don't like to admit that we are unreasonable or demanding - we are clever or naive enough (tactics, really, that are passed down through the generations of women that came before us) to believe we can disguise and redefine those unpleasant traits as other things, such as perfectionism or realism or idealism. But ... I believe that, as stubborn as we can be about so many things, we are the most stubborn - so many of us - about correcting or admitting that we need to change anything about ourselves. Now, so many of us are on health kicks, from time to time, or addicted to the gym to get into shape, with a genuine desire to be healthier and in better shape, but I can not even tell you the number of women that have said to me, "He can take me the way I am or I don't want him." And this mostly has to do with appearance, but also includes unattractive attitudes and behaviors the woman refuses to address or admit might need to be altered about themselves.
And so ... is it possible that there is truth that women might say a man does not love her unconditionally when he wants her to look and/or act a different way and she refuses - when she refuses, but his requests are entirely reasonable and logical and even necessary, maybe, for that particular relationship to survive, and/or to make/keep the man happy. I think, yes. I think a woman might very well, and do, use the excuse that she is not being loved unconditionally when she is asked or expected to change things about herself (that she can change) that she refuses to change. I think women can be lazy and I think women, of our generation and younger, have "fought" for equality of the sexes for so long and so hard, that any attempt by anyone to change us (in any way or any manner) is unreasonably seen as a possible attempt to degrade us or conquer us - and we are, stubbornly, NOT having that - haha!
Is there truth in the statement that a man will love a woman UNCONDITIONALLY, but first she's gotta act and look a certain way? I don't think this is true, in my experience. But ... as my Facebook friend said in response to me saying this on his post, "That's because you look a certain way." When he said this, it spun my thoughts around. I think ... only men can truly answer this question - I said I don't think it is true, but I am obviously only guessing. I think what men love, how they love, who they love and why is unique to each man, but if this idea is somehow universal among them, then it not only explains a lot, but it would mean that catching one and keeping them is far less complicated than many women make it.
I, for one, have no problem trying to do the things that appeal to my man - for him - be it the way I look or the way I act. However, I am not always successful - sometimes I have acted in a way that hurt him, and yet he still loved me unconditionally. I don't even know how to explain that - only to say that I am very lucky and he is very loving ... and none of that really has all that much to do with me.